I believe it’s reasonable to say that all of us have the tendency to view things as personal. However, certain people have more of a tendency than others to do this. When it does happen we have a better chance of dealing the issue within ourselves in a way that others aren’t.
Personalizing things is not healthy in any relationship, whether it’s spouse-husband, employee-employee or parent-child . . . There are a variety of reasons. The most important reason is that if you decide to do something
I believe it’s right to say that all of us tend to view things as personal. But, certain people have more of a tendency than others. When it does happen certain of us have a better chance of dealing the issue within ourselves in a way that others aren’t.
whats the importance of not taking things personally ?
It is not healthy in any relationship, whether it’s spouse-husband, employer-employee and partner-partner, parent-child . . . For a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons is that, if take things personally, your emotions will always be a victim to other people – regardless of whether they criticized your personal or not. This isn’t healthy for a relationship, and it’s not a method of living!
If you’re one of those who is prone to taking the actions or words of others take things personally, then I’d like to share one trick I’ve discovered that really works. It is about understanding the reason why people may make the choices they do, and understanding that the things they do have absolutely nothing to do with our lives, and consequently, there’s no reason to be a victim.
two relationship principles ? ( very important )
I will demonstrate this method by introducing two relationship principles.
Principle 1 of Relationship: People are sometimes selfish at times. This may sound like a cynical statement but I’ll be patient with you.
I believe it’s an undisputed fact that all of us have selfish traits. But, there are some who have more self-centered tendencies than other. Some of us could be selfish in the right conditions.
When we accept that some people are selfish, we can see that people:
They will only think about what’s the best for them.
They will only see things from their perspective,
Will need to be correct about everything.
You will want everything their way always,
They don’t think about how their actions affect other people,
And the list goes on . . .
In the end, some people perform actions because they’re driven by their own selfishness! If they’re driven by selfishness there’s no reason we should be able to take things personally they do or say that their actions have nothing to do with us. be related to us. Actually, you could claim that their actions have demonstrated how selfish they are.
For instance, if someone cuts you off while you’re driving and you are a passenger, don’t be upset. Simply tell yourself “this person has shown me how selfish they are through apparently cutting my hair off . . . it’s nothing personal!”
Second Principle of Relationship: All people have a reason behind whatever they do. This principle was one I discovered about people some time in the past.
This doesn’t mean that everyone is always right in their actions. It does not suggest that they can always be excused from their actions. Also, it doesn’t mean that they will never understand the reason for the things they did. However, there is always some reason!
Here are a few reasons I can think of that could lead people to perform the actions they do (perhaps you have other reasons):
– past unmet needs,
– Current requirements,
Current needs,
Past unresolved issues, conflict,
– past hurts,
Current fears,
– current hang ups,
– – hidden motives or an ulterior motives,
– current security concerns,
– past decisions,
– ego issues,
– personality disorders, such as the narcistic tendencies, ADD, ADHD, inability to empathize . . .
And the list goes on . . .
Therefore, people may perform actions because of their identity or what “baggage” the carry! If they’re driven by these things that is, then there is no reason to be able to judge them on what they say and do. Actually, you could claim that their behavior has demonstrated that they act like you would expect because they “have problems”. It’s true that they have nothing has anything to do with us, and thus not personal!
an example to explain what is principal ?
As an example, I have an 11-year-old boy who once said to his stepmother “I am in love with you” but was then received the response “Yeah I know, you’ve got hilarious ways to show that!” It is no surprise that this boy felt deeply wounded by the response (and naturally). The best way to assist that boy is to make him realize that although the comment of the step-mother was a personal attack against him, the answer is a clear indication of who the step-mother really is, and that it wasn’t personal.
The trick to not be taken personally by things that people say or do is to acknowledge that some people are self-centered and/or “have problems” and that their behavior often does not have anything to do with us. You could even turn things around and claim that their actions are a sign of the person they truly are. This can help you take the blame off of you (which is a reason why you are prone to taking things personally) and put the blame on them (which helps you avoid taking things personally).
article written by : Team zoobee learning